Life and War with Mikey Fatboy Delgado
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
The Guardian Artefact - (fragment)
material - reconstituted atomised paper, ink and glass
source - Thames estuary
Date - late American Empire
Holding of Baghdad Museum of Antiquities, Akkadia.
Year of purchase - 9113 a.h
Script (translated from Angle)
And the Emperor (President?) said justice would be ......|text unreadable|...and freedom would ........... |text unreadable|
Bus (?) said freedom is a beautiful ...... |text unreadable|...and that resistance is futile and ......|untranslatable|.
Burger King¹ (?) announced the opening of a .....|text unreadable|...at Freedom International Airport. The...... ...... |text unreadable|...has been delayed due to ongoing....... |text unreadable|...from those opposing the coalition² (?) forces.
Freedom (?) fries³ will ......
¹ In the Early Reascendant Akkadia of 9113 ah translators pondered long over whether this should be Burger King or Burger Emperor. Reputations were destroyed.
²Some authorities translate this as coercion
³Translators also pondered long over freedom fries. Were they offerings to the gods of the Late American Empire? Some assumed (anti-Americanly?) that people were fried for freedom.
Others linked them to the French (emperor?) Chirac...to perhaps something he said. Tantalising clues were alluded to in The Le Monde Fragment, excavated at Clichy in 9137 a.h.
Re¹ An audacious theory has been proposed that perhaps Burger King was a food outlet, something akin to the Akkadian Felafel Queen but with much less wholesome food. Academia is in uproar once more. Reputations are at stake again.